100 Ways To Kill A Doctor : Grrrrrrrrrrr! Hissssssss!
by Tuesday Pajamas
Summary: Penny, Amy and Bernadette are werewolves. Sheldon, Howard and Raj are vampires. So the big question now is, "Who gets to kill Leonard?"


**I'm not a big fan of death fics but this is my little attempt to join in with the Halloween Challenge. Hints of Shenny, Shelnard and Wolopali. I went over the word limit though.  
**

 **RULES:**

 **1\. Sheldon/Penny - They can be platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Heroes/Villains, etc.**

 **2\. Leonard/Amy's death MAY occur anytime from the Pilot thru Season 9.**

 **3\. The death must be completed in a single chapter, although you are welcome to contribute as many different forms of death as you like as long as they are a chapter each.**

 **4\. The story must be no more than 1,500 words long.**

 **5\. Deadline is October 31, 2015.**

* * *

When Howard and Raj arrived at 4A very late that evening looking paler than usual, Leonard didn't think much of it. They were wearing makeup after all and black always made Howard a little washed out anyway. It also wasn't a surprise that they had revisited the Goth club. Raj had been complaining for weeks that he and Howard didn't go out together anymore now he was married. He also hoped Emily might be impressed by his choice of venue. Unfortunately, when he called her, she told him she had come down with the flu and promised to drop by in a day or so. So it wasn't the flowing black coats, the tattoo sleeves or the immaculate backcombing that perplexed Leonard, it was the fact they looked so damn good in them. And was Howard taller?

"Hi guys, have a good night? he said.

"Hisssssssssss!"

"Geez, you're really getting into the spirit."

Raj gave him a rather menacing grin.

"You okay Raj?"

"Splemedous!" The reply was smoother and deeper than he remembered and he chuckled at the theatrics. "How much have you had to drink?" he mocked, wandering towards his usual armchair.

They turned their heads slowly towards one another. "Rather a lot," Howard said.

"Evening," shot Sheldon from his usual place on the couch. "Leonard's going to bed soon but I'm staying up to watch some more Gotham if you'd like to join me."

They remained in the doorway. Leonard gave them a curious frown and shook his head. "Why don't you come on in," he offered and the pair glided through the door. "I'll see you in the morning, night guys," he said, not quite sure what to make of Howard and Raj's unusual behavior. With a backward glance he saw them glide on to the couch and heard Raj say. "Sheldon, we have something to show you," as he left the room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Amy was howling at the moon.

"This is great!" Bernadette said, admiring her long furry limbs at they sprinted across the park.

"Are you sure? I feel terrible converting you the way I did. The outbreak in the lab was just a front, I didn't want anyone to know what I was really working on and then you walked in to offer help while I was changing and…"

"Don't even think about it Amy," the fairer wolf said. "I feel wonderful, so powerful. Free of that tiny human body and those short little legs, I can leap and run…" she said, bouncing over a park bench to empathize her point. "…and KILLLLL…." She added, with a flash of teeth.

Amy bounced on after her, flicking her tail happily. "I'm so relieved you understand, it's so much better to share this with a friend."

"Speaking of which, I wonder what Penny's doing tonight."

Amy grinned. "I think its time for girls night."

* * *

A week later there was another knock at the door. Vampire Sheldon rose from his spot as though he had simply willed himself to stand and swooped majestically toward the door. On the other side was a thin, drawn looking character, with the collar of his coat pulled up and a large scarf drawn tightly about his throat.

"Your dinner, Master," Stuart croaked, as he passed over a brown paper bag.

The vampire waved his slender fingers in front of Stuart's gaze and the minion swayed a little from side to side.

"Did you get all three pints?" Sheldon whispered, hypnotically.

"Yes Master." Stuart hushed.

"Is one bag type O and the other two bags type B positive?"

"Yes Master."

"Has it been screened?"

"Yes Master."

"Was it kept at the optimum temperature?"

"Yes Master."

"Did you bring extra plasma?"

"There wasn't any Master."

"Then, what took you so long?" he scolded and the door clicked shut almost instantly.

"Dinners ready," Sheldon said.

"How do you do that?" Howard said, in awe. "You got the hang of hypnotism and mind control within days."

"I don't know," Sheldon mused. "I simply exert my will. Only now, people obey."

"We need to learn that."

Raj rubbed his hands together in glee. "Oh sweet mother nectar delivered by minion, this is what an after-life is all about."

Howard signed. "I don't know why we can't go hunting, like…" he began.

"Like the wolves?" Sheldon finished, "I'm not running around in the filthy streets of Pasadena biting the necks of random strangers. We don't know where those necks have been." He crinkled up his perfect pale brow.

"Sheldon, you're a vampire now." Howard said. "You don't have to worry about germs anymore. You don't have to worry about anything anymore."

"We still have standards to maintain. We're not smelly beasts."

Raj groaned and sunk a fang into his B+ blood bag.

"No we're not, we're gods!" Howard boomed, leaving his seat and swishing around the room as though he were on wheels. "Look at me, I'm HOT!"

"We all are!" Raj agreed with a broad grin. "I was looking at you the other evening and I thought, "Look at him, he's hot!""

Howard stopped swishing and froze. "You d-did?" he asked tentatively.

"YES, I thought…it's Howard, only MORE so! And I'm sure you're taller."

"You know what? I think I am," he said, resumed his swishing. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me and you don't need to worry about us not spending time together anymore."

Raj grinned.

"I don't feel that different." Sheldon said, prodding his blood bag with suspicion.

"Funny thing is..." Howard said, dropping back down on the couch. "...you haven't really changed that much."

"Why would I? Aside from adjusting my work schedule to a nocturnal one, I feel much the same. Having people follow my commands does have its advantages. It was so annoying when they argued."

"But I feel magnificent!"

"Like I said, I don't feel any different," Sheldon replied, "…but I do enjoy a cape."

CRASH!

This time there was no knock, the door banged open and three werewolves trotted in sniffing the air, claws tapping on the wooden floor.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr", they said.

"Hissssssss", the vampires returned.

"Where is he?" Penny Wolf growled.

"Who?" Howard said, as he squeezed the last drop from his blood bag.

"Her husband!" Amy Wolf said.

"Oh, you mean the MORTAL."

"Yes, where's the human. We want to eat him," Bernadette Wolf snarled.

"He's locked in his room, crosses, garlic, silver bullets at the ready," Raj said, nodding towards the bedrooms and shaking his head in warning.

At this, Sheldon was on his feet. "No one's eating Leonard," he commanded. "He may be human but he's still one of us. I say we catch him and turn him vampire as soon as possible because this situation..." he gestured towards the bedrooms. "…is intolerable."

"Oh no you don't!" Penny protested. "He's going to be a wolf, like us." Amy and Bernadette nodded their snouts in agreement.

"You can't just come crashing in here, shedding your fur everywhere and making demands about our mortal." Sheldon bit back.

"He's not YOUR mortal, Twilight!"

Sheldon shot her a glare that could melt the arctic and swooped over in challenge. "He's not YOURS either, Rover!"

"GRRRRRRR."

"HISSSSSSS."

"Geez, can you two give it a rest for once," Howard moaned and picked up the remote. "Ever since we went supernatural, the tension between you two has gone through the roof. Besides, I'm about to watch The Walking Dead and would like a little quiet please."

Sheldon stuck his nose in the air and looked across at the green eyes narrowed in his direction, a faint hint of apple wafting off the light fur. "Wolves…" he muttered, his anger ebbing away.

At that moment their keen sense of hearing picked up a shuffling from the direction of the bedrooms. They heard his quickening breaths even before he emerged from around the corner. Leonard edged into the room with right hand extending out a wooden cross, a thread of garlic over his shoulders and a small pistol in the other hand.

"Stay back," he warned pushing the cross in the direction of the vampires, his arm trembling.

Raj and Howard hissed. Sheldon just rolled his eyes.

"Doesn't that affect you?" Raj asked, squinting and leaning away from the offending object.

"I had many of these reactions when I was alive." he shrugged. "So many things felt like a cross or a braid of garlic to me."

Penny wolf wrinkled up her brow in thought, "You were born to this Sheldon. Just like I, you have become the natural leader of your pack."

"And you make a fine wolf." Their eyes locked.

"W-what are you talking about? This is terrible," the mortal stammered. "Just LOOK at her!"

A growl rumbled in the back of Penny's throat. Leonard shuffled forward waving the pistol towards the werewolves and they fell back.

Sheldon fixed his glare on the human. "Come to me Leonard," he whispered, the velvety tone drifting through the air like a gentle aesthetic. The short man felt all tension vanish and calm smother his being, as the pale figure crept closer. Those eyes…those dazzling eyes…his head fell back and his exposed neck…

"Hissssssssss!" A large paw swatted the vampire backwards towards his spot on the couch, breaking the trance.

"Well, that was uncalled for!" Sheldon said, giving Penny a hurt look.

"Well, do you really want to make him immortal? Do you really want to be with Leonard forever?" Penny said.

"Don't you?"

Penny wolf didn't answer. She wasn't sure if she was jealous that Sheldon wanted to make Leonard his eternal companion, or whether she should want to make him hers. Her pack had descending on the apartment that night for that very purpose, to either make Leonard a wolf or make a meal of him. Whichever transpired, after their blood lust was satisfied. Conflicted and a little embarrassed by her hesitation she felt the wolf instinct rising "KILL, KILL" it beckoned.

Leonard took the moments confusion to his advantage and stumbled back, his arm reaching out to feel the door behind him. "I-I'm going to work," he stammered. "I-I don't want any trouble."

"This situation is intolerable," Sheldon said. "You have to let us kill you."

"What? NO!…" He squealed. "Can't I just stay human?"

"Ewww no!" Penny said.

"She's right. I can not live with a mortal. You have to chose."

"Go vampire!" Howard piped up with a smile, to reveal little pointed canines. "You don't want to be wolf with all that fur, think of your allergies."

"Don't listen to those blood suckers, go wolf" said Amy. "It's only three nights a month and the rest of the time you can pretend to be normal. Walk amongst them but be stronger, better, immoral. Isn't that what you've always wanted Leonard? To be normal but better than normal?"

"But vampires are sexy and we can fly. We can also hold humans under our thrall… well, Sheldon can but one day we all will," Raj said, rising his eyebrows in an attempt to put Leonard under.

"Grrrrrrrrrr," the wolves said.

"Hisssssss," the vampires returned.

"NO!" Leonard boomed, his hand pushed on the doorknob, the door shot open a little faster than he anticipated and he fell backwards on to the floor. Vampire Sheldon swooped. Penny Wolf bounced but they were too late.

Another figure was already on top of Leonard, snapping and biting. Sinking its teeth into his shoulder.

"What that hell?" Penny said.

"Oh dear," said Sheldon, shaking his head in dismay. "Raj!" he called out, "your girlfriend's a zombie."

"What? I thought she had flu."

Everyone shot accusing glances at him as Sheldon gently closed the door.

"You okay Sheldon?" Penny asked.

"No, I now have a ZOMBIE as a housemate."

"You think you've got problems," Penny huffed. "I'm married to him."

"Yes, forever."


End file.
